Whenever I speak to people at the moment, or receive a text or a Whatsapp, the question that is always asked is… ‘How are you?’ and I think I am beginning to lose the ability to know how to answer it. Not in a bad way, just in a, I’m not sure what I’ve got to say, way. I’m fine doesn’t seem to cut it. Nor does, I’m okay. And chances are that when you ask me that question I’m exactly the same as I was the last time you asked me that question. Because nothing is changing. I have no news.
And I feel like I’m running out of things to say. Well, new things anyway.
It’s nearly 5.30pm and normally by now my blog post would’ve been written, edited and posted, but today I am only just getting round to even attempting to write it. I’ve baked a cake. Have home -schooled the boys. Sewn some bunting for VE day tomorrow. Eaten. Done Joe Wicks. It’s been a busy day, but I have been putting off writing this in spite of that because I wasn’t sure I had anything new to write about. Let’s see shall we…
What have I learnt this week? Well…
- It doesn’t matter. This came up on a work Zoom meeting and I thought, oh my God yes. So much doesn’t matter right now. If we don’t do all the allocated home learning, it doesn’t matter. If my children are on their devices more than usual, it doesn’t matter. If they are up later than they normally would be, it doesn’t matter. Nothing matters because this isn’t forever. We’re all getting through the best we can. There is no right or wrong (pretty sure I’ve said this before, but oh well.) All of the rules by which we used to live don’t matter at the moment. It’s all changed. We are dealing with issues we’ve not had to manage before and so the nitty gritty stuff that used to be important simply, say it with me, doesn’t matter. Soon everything is going to be okay (it will!) and who knows, maybe this strange period of time will turn out to have a positive impact on us all. Our children will learn different skills, as will we. Maybe that’s what matters.
- Zoom gives me a headache. I love seeing people’s faces, but boy does looking at them on a screen hurt my eyes. It is so unnatural. I’ve started to wear my glasses again because most of my day is now spent looking at a screen. From messages on my phone, to home learning on the computer, to the tv. Even the book I just read was on my Kindle, another damn screen! I’ve realised that I need to factor in some screen free time, somehow. And whilst we are on the subject of online socialising, I miss the natural way conversations flow that doesn’t work on Zoom or FaceTime – if one person jumps in the sound goes and I can’t hear anyone. I almost want to manage the sessions like I would’ve managed circle time when I was a teacher, where only the person holding the teddy is allowed to speak. It’s just not natural. I like to interrupt and be interrupted. I like to hear everyone laugh, not glitch and go silent.
- Everything is better when the sun shines. Fact.
- We are all awesome. We really are. We are drawing on emotional reserves we didn’t think we had. We are home schooling when we’ve never taught. We are living in isolation when all we want is company. We are keyworkers risking our lives to help others. Human beings are bloody brilliant and we are doing it – we are getting through this. We are pulling together. We are helping others. We are amazing!
- Children are also awesome! The way they adapt, accept, live in the here and now and not worry about the future. I have learnt a lot from my two – and I know I’ve mentioned this before – but the way they just accept the situation and stay positive is amazing. Am. In. Awe.
And that’s it. I did have something to say after all. Who knows what next week will bring, Sunday’s press conference is going to be an interesting one that’s for sure.
But I imagine that for us – working hard and shielding the boys – nothing much will change. And I can honestly say that right now, that doesn’t matter.
Stay safe x